A nice hot slice of humble pie

Brazil, Russia, India, and China, the BRIC countries, are commonly referred to as "emerging markets" or "developing countries".  It may be true that their economies lag some other parts of the world, in some regards, they are light years ahead of everyone. Over the years, I have had the privilege of working with many western and European cultures.  Nothing, however, has been more humbling to my character than working with India.  Never before have I met a group of people as kind, compassionate, and accommodating as my colleagues there.  They cling to a cultural definition  that revolves around hospitality and kindness.  Conversely, we "rude Americans" have landed on a definition through material possessions and personal, self-centered experiences.  My visits to India are good for my soul. I always return with a more positive outlook on humanity and a redoubled effort to emulate their values of compassion and kindness.  As the country continues to develop, my wish for India is that they hold these cultural traits close and never lose sight of what's important.

Get Your Motor Running

26 weeks to go.  26 miles to go...at 6:50 pace.  For quite a few years, I have toyed with the idea of adding a 6th life goal: running a sub 3 hour marathon.  Recently, I was convinced that this is the year to do it during the Chicago Marathon on October 12th. My last marathon was at 8:22/mile.  I have to drop a minute and a half from my mile time.  A 6:50 pace for 26 miles...
Daunting?  Yup.
Stupid?  Maybe.
Stubborn?  Always.

people are mean

Winter weather in Chicago can really suck. I woke up this morning around 3:15 and, after looking at the snow and ice outside, decided that i had better get on the road as fast as possible. I made it to the airport and I immediately got into a funk when i noticed that my boarding pass relegated me to 33D...which is as close to bumblefucknowhere as you can get in a 737.

A short aside: due to the benefit of frequent flier status, I have enjoyed priority seating and generally good treatment of late. 33D does not meet either of those qualifications.

Back to our story at hand. Due to my seating arrangement, and the fact that i woke up before most college students go to bed, i was in a rather foul mood. Apparently so was everyone else. I was run over and cut in line by some douchebag and his wife. The wife clearly noticed and pointed it out. The douchebag chose to ignore both of us. As we are boarding, I notice that DB and wife have seats separted by about 10 aisles. DB asked the gentleman sitting next to him in the rear if he'd like to take his wife's seat in economy plus so that the two of them could sit together. For reasons unbeknowst to me, the man denies him. I, of course, did a victory dance in the aisle, pointed, laughed, and told him that "karma is a bitch, ain't it?". ok, not really. but i did smile at my revenge.

I should heed my own words. Later in the day I was rewarded for my internal celebration, by being shouldered out of the way by a 4 foot 6 inch chinese woman as we exited a train. Having lost my balance, I made quite the scene as I tipped over my luggage and grabbed at the nearest railing to keep from faceplanting.

hopefully the return trip will be more pleasant. I'm scheduled for 7F, my usual, so it's already looking better.

a triumphant return!

yes friends, it's true. I'm actually blogging again. After a 4 month hiatus, I am rededicating this blog to all the retards, morons, dipshits, and slack-jawed yokels that have ever navigated an airport.

My job is now requiring a significant amount of travel which I have adjusted to quite nicely. I leave my house every monday at 4am and come back to chicago every friday at 8pm. Fun fun. Mind you, I am not bitching. I love my job and life in general. However, one of my two annoyances in life right now is the folks who just can't seem to understand modern aviation.

First: It's not the fucking Wright Brothers any more. There are like, electronics and shit on these planes that keep them where they're going. You are not required to look out the window and try to navigate for them.
Second: Bumpy landings are a fact of life and i'm sure the people in the cockpit enjoyed it even less than you did. No one died.
Third: If you are going to be shoved in an airborne cattle car for 3 hours with 250+ of your new best friends, have the decency to a.) shower b.) not pack and eat a RIDICULOUSLY stinky lunch (i have no idea wtf this guy was eating - it was nothing i recogonized visually or aromatically) c.) actually know what a carry-on is supposed to look like (hint: not a hiking backpack)

I have all sorts of flying stories that will be posted here for your entertainment (and mine now that they're over). So buckle up, stow those tray tables, and prepare yourself for the in-flight movie that is my life.

oil prices

on the news last night was an article about how oil speculators are responsible for as much as a third of the price of a barrel of oil right now. interesting. from everything i've read, demand is at record levels, production is waning, yet there is still a price mismatch in the market due to these speculators. half of me wants to get in, buy and oil ETF and make some quick cash. the other half, the more deviant one, says we should petition congress to force anyone who buys light, sweet crude oil to have to take delivery of it. i can just picture an oil tanker pulling up to a hedge fund manager's waterfront Bermuda home with some crusty captain using the lawn as his personal toilet. yarr.

the simanek six - six things i learned from the annual ski trip

last weekend was the annual boys ski trip where we all get together, ski like madmen, drink a shitton at night, and be the vile, disgusting male species that we are.

1. Alex can take a beating like no other.

2. I can get sick air. Landing, however, is another story.

3. Fart wars never end well.
4. If you really want to make someone nervous, come out of the bathroom attached to their bedroom giggling uncontrollably.
5. Beer + garlic burgers + grilled cheese = weapon of mass destruction...even on a chair lift in mid air.
6. Speaking of chair lifts, the most undignified thing that can possibly happen to you while skiing is to fall off the chair lift, get run over by it, and be forced face first into the snow as it drags you along.
The bonus 7th: Sometimes, the best thing a friend can say to you is "fuck everybody else".

it's in the genes

i recently received this following email from my mother:

"10 strikes in a row - 280 game!!!!!"

she was referring to wii bowling.

is it any wonder i went through a nasty episode of video game addiction in college?