you may be older, but it's still my ass

ah the holidays! you know it's here by how cranky people are getting. the NBA fights (i hope they never play basketball again), the college football fights, and yes, even the bar (almost a fight). In the quiet burg of Twin Lakes, I have had to ask a total of 3 people to leave in the more than two years that i worked there. I've cut off about the same number. Well, on Saturday night, not only did I cut off 3 people, but had to ask two more to leave. What the hell? You'd think that people know how to behave themselves, but give them a couple of beers and they all turn into 2 year olds.

First there was Darrel and Darryl. After having a nice meal they come out to the bar for a couple of drinks and start heckling the guitarist at an EXTRAORDINARY volume. I walk on down there and ask them nicely to keep it down and they apologize for being loud. So I think all is good. I go about my business and the next thing I know, they're yelling again. Before I have the chance to get down there, another customer gets up and walks over to them. Oh boy, here we go. Words are exchanged, the room goes silent and there's me, Darrel and Darryl and the man whom they refer to as 'short stack' having quite the conversation. Eventually, Darrel and Darryl use their pebble sized brains to figure out that they are, in fact, assasnine pieces of garbage that were left behind on pick-up day. So they leave after quite the discussion and antics.

Enter Older-than-dirt and Super-drunky-old-lady. Older-than-dirt sits down and order a Miller Lite and looks at another patron (whom she knew) to pay for it. The man looks like he has been put on the spot and forced to dig for his wallet. Bitch. Super-drunky-old-lady is having a tough time finding a bar stool even though the bar has 4 people in it. I tell OTD that I can't serve her friend if she is that intoxicated. SDOL start caressing a patron who is (now) visibly uncomfortable. OTD pisses and moans and I hold my ground albeit poorly as I'm slightly intimidated by someone who I've been taught to respect because they are older than I. This respect quickly goes out the door. Long story short: OTD drinks her Miller Lite like it's the last one on earth (forcing me to stay open...it's 1:30am) and SDOL thinks that her club soda is vodka and soda with a twist (there wasn't even a lemon in the thing...jesus!)

What a weekend.