calling john t. crapper!

I have long held the belief that the handicapped stall is the mercedes-benz of crappers. spacious, a solid wall on one side, generally cleaner than the others, and handrails for the powerdump all combine to maximize the excremental experience.
On Saturday, having commandeered the handicap stall and comfortably situated myself atop the "cadillac of poopin' stools", i was greatly alarmed to discover that the toilet paper dispenser had been mounted on the opposite wall of the stool. i'm stuck. I can't reach the tp! i'm not about to just get up and mosey on over there so i start to get concerned.

By dumb luck, the bag that i had with me is also the bag i take to my races. And as anyone who has been in a large scale race before will tell you, you should always pack your own tp (there's never enough in the outhouses). Crisis averted. Now to track down the retarded architect who specified that one and beat him with a canoe paddle. Imagine if I were truly wheelchair bound. I'd be pissed!!