how do you like them apples?

Having my manager quit has not been without it's share of rough patches. The past couple of weeks have been crazy hectic with real job projects and store emergencies.

Given that my priorities lie with my real job, I've screwed up a lot of things at the store. One of them was forgetting to order produce for this weekend.

I get the call friday afternoon that we only have 70 apples. The count for the day was 260. Well shit. I call up my boys at Testa produce and order up two boxes for pickup. I take the CTA bus down to their warehouse and pick up my order. As I'm signing the bill, they ask where my car is. I laugh, sigh, and tell them "Palatine. I'm taking the bus and train."

It was like a scene out of a movie. Eight guys just stopped what they were doing and stared at me like i was out of my mind. I don't know if you've ever seen a volume bushel of apples, but it weighs about 35lbs...and i had two...and i'm a pussy.

One of the guys grabs a box and helps me out to the bus stop. He puts it down and starts shaking his head. According to Eddie, who came out shortly after, as soon as I left, there was quite the discussion about how I was going to handle these things. As I stand on the street corner looking like an apple-pimp, Eddie comes out and yells that he's going to drive me up to the train station. Wow am I grateful.

I get to the train station and boy...it's a bitch to get through a revolving door with two cases of apples, a gym bag, and a laptop bag. How the hell do really fat people operate in this world? The looks through the train station were hysterical as i'm grunting and sweating and cursing getting these things to the train. The conductor of my train even tried to direct me towards the Union Pacific freight line.

I think he was drunk...seriously. His announcements for the different stops were odd at best ("next stop, Dee Road! Home of happy hounds doggy day care! Get off the train you dogs!"). needless to say, he is my kind of conductor.

Finally, arriving at my stop, I jump off the train and grab my apples. I'm about sick of carrying them so i leave them on the street corner to pull my car around. As I'm pulling up, a police car slows to inspect. Apparently, apples can be confused with bombs nowadays. What a sad world.