you can id me by my nuts

This morning, as i'm getting ready for work, I realized that I left my dry cleaning downstairs in the kitchen. I got dressed as normal and walked down the stairs with wallet and phone in hand to retrieve my pants.

On the train a few hours ago, I pulled out my laptop to do some work and felt something uncomfortable gouge my in the junk. I had attached my work badge to the flap of my boxers as i had no free hands to carry it this morning. Of course, I left it there until I made my way into work. Upon reaching my floor I entertained all spectators as I performed quite the emphatic pelvic thrust at the card reader to get the door to open.