that's one fly button!

this weekend i made my bi-annual trip to the banana republic outlet to stock up on all sorts of clothing. i shop there mainly because i can walk in, pick out an entire wardrobe, try everything on, and be out in under 30 minutes. this time it was a bit different. i found a couple of pairs of jeans that i liked and upon getting to the dressing room, discovered that they were button-fly jeans. hmm...having never worn such strangeness, i had quite a time reassembling the crotch once the pants were on my body. after this short ordeal (repeated on the second set of pants) i decided that they were comfortable enough to warrant the extra hassle.

this morning, since i was now in possession of some snazzy new pants, i took the tags off and wore them to work. once at work, as is the custom after my morning coffee, I pulled on up to the urinal only to find that these pants were truly designed by worshipers of the devil. you cannot just unzip, unroll the plumbing, let fly, and be done. noooo...now i must undo the belt so that i can get at the top two buttons, unseat the 3rd and 4th buttons and finally, dig like hell to find and unfasten the 5th button from it's cavern near my junk. thank god it was a one man bathroom. if it weren't and there were a line, it would have been one hell of a show.