half marathon results

i don't know who ran that race yesterday morning with bib 4084, but it wasn't me.
i know better than to consume two power bars, an energy gel, and a carb drink within 1.5 hours of the start.
i know better than to drink only a pint of water with all that food and expect it to be enough to carry me through a 13.1 mile race at 80+ degrees.
i know better than to stay up late drinking two nights before the race.
i know better than to start out faster than my pace in order to 'put time in the bank'.
i know better than to put an energy gel in my back pocket and sit down to stretch only to have it pop and get my rump all sticky.

i ran a 1:36:07, my worst half marathon to date and 6:07 short of where i HAD to be. it was one of my worst races ever. this is also the first time where the paramedics thought i was going to lose it. basically, everything after mile 7 was forced and by the time i hit the finish line, i was done-for. i stepped over it, put my hands on my knees, got the spins, and almost fell over only to be caught by a race volunteer. I got my balance back (still hands on knees sucking wind) as the paramedics came over to check on me. there was some conversation about taking me over to the medical tent despite my objections of "i'm fine" and ultimately the race volunteer stuck up for me by saying "he's not down yet..." so they gave me a bag of ice, told me to be careful and drink a lot, and sent me on my way.

jeez, i wish i could start every sunday like that.