the customer service bible

1. i will bend over backwards to make a customer happy. carry things to their car, chase them down with change, or even walk out from behind the altar to help them on the floor. i call it the altar because very few employees venture beyond the gate unless it is to take out trash or lower the gates. it's a very standoff-ish attitude towards the customer and every time i've walked around the counter, i've made a sale. every time. now who needs some healing? praise the lord!
2. i will never call to a customer. if i have something to say to a customer, i walk over to them and speak to them. rarely, if ever will i yell across a room or even more than 5 feet. strangely, some employees have a very difficult time with this concept.
3. i will never fidget with a customer's purchase. i fidget a lot...not as much as tim...but a lot. if i have a pen in my hand, chances are that it is never still. however, i will never toss, twist, play, fondle, juggle, grab, shake, or otherwise touch their newly purchased product unless it is moving it from the case to the scale or the scale to a box or bag.
4. i will, at every opportunity, engage a customer. customers are people. talk to them. i bullshitted with a guy about "friday the 13th" for almost 20 minutes the other night. granted, it was a slow night and i was so bored i was about to see how far a pen would fit in my ear just to pass the time but he ended up doubling his purchase. the tougher part comes when customers are moving rapidly. you have about 20 seconds to make a connection with a customer. talk about anything. someone picks up dog treats "oh! what kind of dog do you have?" someone looks at a marshmallow "check out the marshmallows in the rocky road cluster blah blah blah". i have a very long speech on that particular item. all but once have i given the full speech and sold it. give them a sample of something and tell them about it. i call samples my ice-breakers. who turns down free chocolate? nazis and communists. that's who. oh, and al qaida. they don't like chocolate either.
5. i will never swear in front of a customer. if i can train myself to bite my tongue after having just dunked my hand in that brown lava called caramel, i would think that everyone else would be able to change over to their 'polite vocabulary' while they're working.
6. i will mind my manners. i will say please and thank you. i will look them in the eye when i'm speaking to them.
7. i will acknowledge all mistakes and take responsibility for them. i have tracked down customers in the mall to personally apologize for mistakes made in the store. i have cut in on a sale where the employee was charging incorrectly. i will do what i can do to make things right. being the guy in charge, all mistakes are my fault. someone was either not trained properly, or i did not recognize the warning signs early enough of a poor employee. i will abandon all rules in order to make a customer happy even if it means pulling money out of my wallet and handing it to them so that they don't have to wait for a register to free up.

i'm sure i will think of more and will update this post as i do.