a triumphant return!

yes friends, it's true. I'm actually blogging again. After a 4 month hiatus, I am rededicating this blog to all the retards, morons, dipshits, and slack-jawed yokels that have ever navigated an airport.

My job is now requiring a significant amount of travel which I have adjusted to quite nicely. I leave my house every monday at 4am and come back to chicago every friday at 8pm. Fun fun. Mind you, I am not bitching. I love my job and life in general. However, one of my two annoyances in life right now is the folks who just can't seem to understand modern aviation.

First: It's not the fucking Wright Brothers any more. There are like, electronics and shit on these planes that keep them where they're going. You are not required to look out the window and try to navigate for them.
Second: Bumpy landings are a fact of life and i'm sure the people in the cockpit enjoyed it even less than you did. No one died.
Third: If you are going to be shoved in an airborne cattle car for 3 hours with 250+ of your new best friends, have the decency to a.) shower b.) not pack and eat a RIDICULOUSLY stinky lunch (i have no idea wtf this guy was eating - it was nothing i recogonized visually or aromatically) c.) actually know what a carry-on is supposed to look like (hint: not a hiking backpack)

I have all sorts of flying stories that will be posted here for your entertainment (and mine now that they're over). So buckle up, stow those tray tables, and prepare yourself for the in-flight movie that is my life.