camouflage these nuts

yesterday i went down to the gym to work on my gun show (hah...yea right) and found only one other person down there. he was wearing white and black camouflage pants, a t-shirt with the arms ripped off, and brand new baseball cap (little if any bend in the brim) backwards. i actually broke stride and stared and this toolbag when i saw him. first off, black and white camouflage pants: is he hoping to disguise himself amongst the weights and treadmills? about the only time those things will keep you hidden is if you're in a large herd of zebra's or sneaking about in a pack of dalmations. otherwise, you're pretty much screwed. the ripped-sleeve shirt: ok, so i can live with this one as you can get pretty hot working out...BUT YOU'RE WEARING PANTS! Consistency is the key, bucko. the brand new backwards hat: ok, fine, everybody goes through a couple of weeks with a new hat to break it in. but for the love of god, at least make some attempt at doing so before going out in public. maybe work the brim back and forth a few times by hand. going from store directly to that fat melon of yours is a bad idea (and this is coming from the kid with a 7.5 hat size).

whew...i feel better now.

this just cracks me up

my nephew, Ethan, has a rap-name now: E-Diddy. i find this hillarious.

the ACLU, where no good deed goes unpunished

I, like many of my friends, was a boy scout. Scouts is where i learned to camp, canoe, shoot, and cook on an open fire. I made a lot of friends and have a lot of fond memories of that time. It certainly is a big part of who I am today.

Back when I was active in Troop 178, we began each scout meeting by reciting the boy scout oath. "On my honor, i will do my duty, to God and my country..." Well, approximately every 4 years, the Pentagon helps the Boy Scouts of America with their national convention by providing a military base for their use as a very large campground. Well, the American Civil Liberties Union has decided to stick its nose where it doesn't belong and punish them for such an act of generosity. They have sued (and won!) to prevent the U.S. Government from doing such a thing in the future.

Don't you think this is taking it a bit too far? The B.S.A. does not require you to attend church services. They do not say which god they are to believe in or what theological principles to subscribe to. Take a coin or bill out of your pocket. What does it say on there?

Every boy scout wears an American Flag on his shoulder and says the plegde of allegiance at every meeting. The oath even provides for this. Duty to God and my country. Clearly the country is not required to give anything back, but according to the ACLU, it is considered wrong if they do.

another day another race

a few minutes ago, i was sitting here stewing about not getting my competitive start for the chicago marathon because of the lakeshore half being too long and mucking with my qualifying time. being the unproductive clod that i am at work, i started web surfing to see if there was another qualifier between now and then to try and regain my position. Here it is.

If anybody wants to get beers afterwards, let me know.

announcing my retirement

last night was my final night of bartending and boy am i glad it's over. i had to throw out the third person of my career who then told me he was going to kill me. eventually, he left, but 15 minutes later, came back. i called the cops and he went for a ride. the previous two times that i've had to ask someone to leave, they didn't argue too much yet i still got a big adrenaline rush preparing for the worst. last night, when the worst was about a second and a half away from happening, i was surprisingly calm even though the guy had 5-6 inches and 200 lbs on me. had you asked me what i would have done prior to this happening i would have told you that i would have wet myself and had somebody else handle it.

not only this but one of our servers got a little tipsy last night. she had no car and, as she is only a couple blocks past my place, i offered to walk her home. country thunder is in town this weekend. This means there are quite a few drunk assholes around so i didn't want her walking by herself. We start walking home and, to make a long story short, damn near jumps on me. I give her the turn, pull away and start walking a whole lot quicker. Oh yea, did i mention that she's married?